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So as I posted before I am stuck on four names that I need for my book, so I have been thinking it was a research block, but I have come to realize this morning that it is not a research block. It is a block of much more intense roots. You see, all of my life I have been raised to look only for the good in everything. You know the bright side, the silver lining, the rainbow in the storm, and all of the sugar-coated other sayings you could possibly think of. This is great till you start writing that story, you know the “Novel”. Yes that one.  Awe I can write anything that is encouraging and beautiful, but I am stuck when it comes to finding the darkness. Somewhere I have been so sugar-coated, that I cannot even access that deep darkness that must be lurking inside me. It simply has to be there, I know it is, but for some reason I am stuffing it down.

I keep thinking that if only I could dig down deep enough I could find my dark characters lurking deep within me. Why can’t I? Is there something so dark and deep within me that I am afraid of unleashing it? What is it? Have I been focused so long on the good, that I don’t even know how to see the bad? Am I subconsciously afraid of my own monsters? Ooh! that could be it, I play this computer game where you mine for resources, and then you have to build or create a safe place for your avatar, and at night the monsters come out to try to destroy you. I generally play the game in peaceful mode with the monsters turned off. Why, because they freak me out! Why, I have not come to terms with, but I am thinking I may have to go play online where I am not allowed to turn off the monsters, and am forced to fight them even if they kill me routinely.

Awe, I wonder if it has to do with my being a bit of a goody two shoes? I have this thing where I need to follow all the rules, all the time. Sometimes I think it would feel good to break the rules, but I don’t like the consequences of doing that. It is like getting a speeding ticket. Many years ago, I got a speeding ticket and it cost me over 300 US dollars. I didn’t like that and I have pretty much been driving the speed limit ever since (much to the demise of those who are behind me). I also don’t drink, and I don’t go out and get drunk, although I will go out with friends from time to time to drinking establishments and just have a non-alcoholic drink. We laugh and have fun and they stagger home or I drive them, and then I go home by myself. Not that there is anything wrong in how I live my life, but where do I find those unsavory characters in my so clean life?

I have been reading many other stories which writers have so well dug into that dark place to find that character, but I still find myself stuck in the mire of sugar-coated uck. My villains just are not dark enough, and I have been aware of this for sometime. I need to take them deeper and much darker for them to work at all for me.

So where do I find them? I always suggest to people that they free write for twenty minutes a day as a practice to make their writing better, and to keep them free of blocks. I think I need to spend that time each day digging into the darkness, the ugly, the horrific, and un-sugar coat my world a bit.

Any suggestions on how to get to that dark place where I have those characters true selves stored would be greatly appreciated. I would love to post an image for you of some piece of artwork I have done that was really dark, but my paintings are always light and airy too. UGH!

Peace and Harmony,

Sallyjane

Do you love to write? We are having a Murder Mystery contest on our blog, and the books proceeds will be given to charity. Contestants write the chapters, and readers vote. Come join in the fun!  http://www.the777man.com

Also check out http://hdbruner777.com to find all the links to our different books we have written like: Zugspitze Sawtooth Peril (A Novel) by Harold D. Bruner, You want to be a Published Writer , and Home is where you park it.

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